


Phantom Veil

by starwarned



Series: Fictober 2020 [31]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Fictober, Fictober 2020, Flufftober, Flufftober 2020, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, M/M, Spooky, Watford (Simon Snow)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27324478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starwarned/pseuds/starwarned
Summary: Fictober Day 31 (!)prompt(s): Halloween! and "into that darkness peering" (Edgar Allen Poe)Baz and Simon visit Natasha.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Fictober 2020 [31]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951321
Comments: 1
Kudos: 43





	Phantom Veil

**Author's Note:**

> prompts from [this list](https://subparselkie.tumblr.com/post/628080856195547136/selkies-soft-fall-prompts) and [this list](https://satise.tumblr.com/post/629280324527013888/some-of-my-artists-friends-and-i-felt-like-we) on tumblr!
> 
> WE DID IT! DAY 31! I'm hella intoxicated right now so uh this is not as good as it could be, but we did it. :)

I didn’t want to come back here. Baz knows that I didn’t want to come back here, which is why he didn’t push me to - Penelope did. (And Mitali, oddly enough.) 

There are too many phantoms here at Watford. Too many corners I turn have images of Baz and I fighting and memories of magic. My magic. Of how everything ended.

I’m gripping onto Baz’s hand far too tightly, but he’s returning the attention by standing close to me and rubbing his thumb over the top of mine. We’re walking in step with each other just behind Penelope, who leads the way across the lawn. 

Baz gently elbows my side when we pass by the football pitch. I smile at him. At least some of the memories I have here are pleasant to recall - forcing Penelope into going down to the football pitch to make sure Baz wasn’t plotting. (Or to, more realistically, appreciate Baz’s thighs in his football kit.) 

Baz is going to take me to see his mother. Well, where he says he feels her the most. In the Catacombs. I’ve only been down there with Baz a few times. All the other time I spent down there was when I was convinced that he was hiding from me. 

We’ve spent five lovely and long years together and now Baz has convinced me to visit his mother’s grave on Halloween. (I would have preferred to return in the warmer months and not in practically the middle of the night). 

Penelope dragged us to an event that Mitali, the new headmistress, is throwing for the alumni of Watford, but Baz and I plan on sneaking away the second we can escape Penny’s gaze. 

It takes over half an hour, but we finally manage it - slipping out of the Dining Hall once Penelope and her mother start to get into a heated argument about magickal properties of pickled vegetables. 

“Alright?” Baz asks me softly when we’re finally outside. 

The air is cool and Baz doesn’t necessarily provide me any warmth, but that’s not what makes me shiver. The shadows cast on the grounds from the tall buildings surrounding us are jagged and ominous. I’ve never been frightened of Watford, but I am so afraid of being bombarded with painful memories if I let my guard down for a moment. 

Baz’s hand is still in mine. I nod at him and squeeze his hand, trying to reassure him that I’m doing alright. 

He takes me down to the Catacombs and we’re standing in front of his mother’s grave before I’ve even had enough time to recognize that we’re close. Baz kisses my cheek in an unusually soft gesture before he lets go of me and kneels down in front of the grave. I’m sure he’s crying, but I’m frozen to the spot with fear. 

Seeing Baz like this - seeing him sit here with his mother, crying silently - is making my chest ache. Baz spent a lot of time during our years at Watford here. Thinking about him here multiple nights a week while I was sitting up in our room trying to uncover his latest plot makes me feel guilty and itchy. 

I love Baz. 

I wish I’d realized it sooner (or allowed myself to realize it). Perhaps Baz would have spent less time alone in the Catacombs if I had. 

I step back into myself and kneel down next to Baz. I wrap an arm around his shoulders. 

“I can feel her,” Baz says quietly. He’s always been a subtle crier (a skill I have not perfected in the slightest), but I can hear the break in his voice. 

I nod and lean my head onto his. There’s nothing I can say that will make him feel better nor will anything I mention change how Baz is feeling now. The most I can do is hold him and be here.

“I always felt her on Halloween,” he says. He laughs wetly. “It’s completely daft but something about the holiday made me think she was closer. Like the veil between worlds was thinner.” 

Starting to rub circles into his shoulder, I allow myself to really analyze his face. There are tears wetting his cheeks and his hair is falling down into his eyes, but he doesn’t bother to flick it out of the way. He’s not trying to be strong right now. He’s allowing this.

“I miss her,” he whispers. 

I tuck him closer to me, allowing him to turn his head against my neck and cry into me. Baz is soft and quiet when he’s sad. 

When his sobs have become fewer and further between, I kiss the top of his head and stand up, my knees cracking after kneeling for so long. Baz joins me and wipes his eyes with his hands. I offer him the sleeve of my sweater. 

“I gave you that sweater,” he mumbles. “I’m not going to wipe my nose on it.” 

I shrug. He did give me this sweater and it’s a lovely addition to my Harry Potter costume. (Baz is dressed as Draco because of course he is. He insisted that the parallels between our chosen characters are undeniable.) 

Baz sniffles a bit. “Can we stay here for a bit longer?” he asks. 

“Yes,” I say, reaching out to grab his hands and pull him into me. “We can stay here as long as you need,” I mumble. “Natasha and I have some catching up to do.” 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to literally anyone who even kind of read one of my fictober fics. it means so so much to me - and this decision to commit to fictober was very last minute. I'm very busy with school and life, but writing is the one thing that gives me serotonin so I had to keep going. 
> 
> now to start working on prompts for the carry on countdown! (stay tuned for those at the end of november!)


End file.
